Friday, January 30, 2009

Giggles on the highway

I’ve decided I need to start carrying my camera around with me, because I pretty regularly see some random photo opportunity. Yesterday I was driving home from work, up I-30 from downtown Dallas, which is a route that I rarely take, simply because I live a pretty good bit north of 30, and with way more traffic than I care to deal with on a regular basis. As I get onto the highway, I see this truck cruising down the highway.
Looks like an odd car, doesn't it, sort of a car-castle, at first glance anyway.
I have no idea what the mechanical stuff up on the front part of the trailer is, it looked sort of like some kind of industrial sized transformers or something.
I've no idea where it was headed, and pretty soon after I got the shots it was on down the road, and I had to get off the highway and get over to the places where I had to make a few stops. In the meantime, an annoying drive home was peppered with some giggles
In other news, apparently, my boy Leo, who is such a fierce predator, well, unless you surprise him, got word that my feets were planning a rebellion in the night, so before I went to sleep, he made sure to beat and chew them into submission. Then, this morning, after I woke up, about 3:45, he obviously realized that the beating last night was not as effective as he had hoped, for he had to start in on them all over again! BOY, am I glad I have such a watchcat on the bed with me at night, or else I might have serious problems with my feet! HAHA I suppose that at least these 2 times, he managed the beatings while I was awake, rather than waking me with them!
I had plans to make my chocolate peanut butter cup cookies tonite, but being the scatterbrained nerd that I am these days, I failed to check and make sure that I had all the supplies that I need to do so, and I don't have but MAYBE 1 cup of flour, instead of the 3 that the recipe needs. Sigh, well, Nelson, your birthday cookies are going to be like 3 weeks late. Sorry, you know I love ya though! One of these days I'll manage to get birthday cards and gifts in the mail in time to get to the recipients at least within a week of their birthdays! OOPS :)

Thursday, January 29, 2009


Yesterday’s icy remnants of the storm that came through on Tuesday night kept me home from work, but the leech went on in to her job. I took advantage of this time to make sure that when she moved out, none of my stuff would go with her. This is what I found when I opened one box:
The newspaper wrapped items are pieces of Rosenthal china, the box in the upper left corner is a replica of the Ballpark in Arlington, the blue & white thing is a case in which to store china plates.
Farther down in the box I found:
The brass & black utensils are a Thai serving set that we have had in our house for longer than I can remember. Also mixed in under there are assorted ‘collectible’ spoons and baby utensils that were mine and my little brothers. These items were stored in the drawer of the wooden silver service chest that held my mother’s STERLING SILVER SERVICE, 6 place settings. At this point, her fate was sealed, and I could no longer allow her into my home. I continued my search for my belongings, since I was pretty sure that there were more of them among her things.
The next box yielded:
Yeah, that red & white box, that’s my Polar Express Sleigh Bell that was given to me by my BFF the year that the movie was released. It is engraved with my name, my BFF’s name, and our #1 Boy’s name. UH, yeah, relatively identifiable, dontcha think. Also in the box was my PE miniature train ornament set, and a Greek keyhook. WTF???
Hanging on the wall behind her door was this bunch of necklaces:
Yeah, see that shiny diamond solitaire pendant? MINE, made from the solitaire in my maternal grandmother’s engagement ring. Yep, that diamond was cut back in the 20’s or 30’s, I can identify it, I have had jewelers come out of their shops at the mall to comment on it and ask about it.
In yet ANOTHER box I found:
See the 6 silver plated candlesticks? They are part of a stemware set that my parents bought when we lived in Athens. Farther down in the box I also came across: That wee bottle there? That’s a bottle of Gold flakes brought back to me from Alaska by some friends who went on an Alaskan cruise last year. That arrowhead and the box that it is in came from a jeweler in ATHENS GREECE. I have had the locks re-keyed, and will be getting a copy of that key to my landlord this week. I packed up all of her stuff and put it out on the driveway yesterday afternoon.
The conversation that ensued, via text, beginning at 2:55 pm:
Me: Your stuff will b on driveway when you get to house. I cannot live 1 more day with a thief. Locks have been changed. I hope you will get the help you clearly need. Me: Ourtown PD has been made aware. You no longer have insurance on my policy Roomie From Hell: Whatever RFH: What RFH: What do i RFH: What do I have. What did . do. Me: china, silver, thai serving pieces, amethyst earrings. Do not play dumb with me. Just come get your stuff and go. RFH: If I have your things sorry. I have no place to go. Me: Go to B’s I don’t care. I tried to be a good friend, you took advantage and stole from me. YOU did this to yourself. I am done helping you. RFH: Guess I sleep in my car Me: Should have considered that before you stole from someone who cared about you. Not my problem. Are you still @ work or on way to house? RFH: Why Me: Just tryin to figure out how long to be here since your stuff is out on driveway and I don’t want anyone to steal it. Don’t think it’ll happen with my care there RFH: Who is going to be their. Police Me: Just me. Police know I’m putting you out, but unless you start problems, I won’t call them. RFH: It will not all fit in my car Me: It all fit in the other car this 1 is bigger so it should all fit. If you can’t fit all, take a load to B’s & then come get the rest, which u can leave on porch RFH: I can’t stay at her place Me: Not my problem. Funny, last nite u said she had offered to let you stay there. I can’t help you anymore. RFH: She went out of town until tomorrow Me: So get a motel I don’t care. I have done all I can. I cannot trust you in my home, so you cannot be in it. (sent this at 3:46 Received a blank message at 4:54, she pulled up about then & started loading her stuff. I went and got in my car to go to dinner. Me: Your W2 is in mailbox (sent this message at 5:05) RFH: Where is my necklace that were hanging behind the bedroom door Me: In the bare traps box
I haven’t heard from her since then. I had a lovely dinner with some of my favorite people, came home to a quiet house, had a nice HOT shower, and managed to have a couple of phone conversations that I could have without anyone eavesdropping or interrupting me! WOOT! I am quite happy.
It’s also a bonus that my burger last night managed to digest fully without sending me running to the bathroom within about 10 minutes of eating it! It’s possible that at least part of my beef problem of the last several months was related to stress…. HMMM

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Random Musings #1

Random Musings are my posts that cover multiple subjects that are randomly popped into my head and/or not at all related to each other. The Leech Update Well, I had formulated a plan that, while probably mildly unfair to her, and quite possibly terribly painful for her, was probably going to be immensely satisfying to me, in a vindictive sort of way. I have recruited a friend, and possibly a second friend to help me simply pack up her stuff while she is working on Friday, sit with the house while I take locks to the locksmith to have them rekeyed, and generally provide back up should she try anything stupid. I’ve actually been sorta looking forward to it. On Saturday I asked her if she’d seen my camera, and she acted all shocked that it was missing, and gave me this whole song and dance about how she hadn’t seen it, and it HAS to be in this house somewhere. Now, on Saturday I looked at the couch, picked up the pillows and sorta felt along the cracks between cushions. Nothing. I did the same again on Sunday. When I got home yesterday she asked me again if I’d found it. I told her no, I’d checked under couch cushions and everything (actually, I did that yesterday afternoon before she got home around 7-ish. Again I got the whole “it HAS to be in this house somewhere” routine. So this morning, I rolled out of bed and headed to work about an hour and a half after she did, in an effort to 1. Get some extra time in since the plan was to take Friday off and 2. Get to work before the predicted freezing rain started. When I got home this afternoon about 4, she was not yet home. I brought in the cat food and a couple of other things. Once I’d gotten my clothes changed and got ready to come in here and get on the computer, some nagging voice told me to go check the couch one more time. Quel Surprise! There, on top of a cushion, under a throw pillow that I have moved and checked under and behind at least 3 times since Friday, is my camera! Ok, I could buy that perhaps I looked over it once, but not 3 times! I don’t know where she had it hidden (or pawned), but what I DO know is that at 6 last night, when I checked the couch, it was NOT there, yet obviously, she picked up from wherever it was and brought it in last night, probably in her lunch bag, as it won’t fit in her purse, and planted it while I slept this morning. I have not yet told her that I’ve found it, I’m just going to let her sweat, which is probably way too vindictive and mean, but hey, I am Evil, right? When she came through the door this evening, she said she’d heard from a property at which she’d left an application, and had been approved. YAY She’s moving in on Sunday. I suppose that I could push the issue and keep the original plan, kicking her out on Friday and let her figure out what to do for 2 days, but in the end, I’m too damned nice for my own good. It will also save me some drama of the crying and whatever she would come up with to try and make me feel guilty. I will just trust in the following: · She knows what she did is wrong · She knows that I know what she did, and that I know she knows · She will ultimately be judged for it So, as of Sunday evening, I have my home to myself again, without a thief, a liar, a leech, or any other undesirable sort living here with me! CAT FOOD A few days ago, when I had to get kitty litter, it did cross my mind to pick up some cat food at the same time, but the WallyWorld I was in didn’t have ANY in stock of the brand I feed them. For several years they’ve been on Maxximum Nutrition, which is their own brand, and in my experience, a higher quality food than even the pricey vet brands. In fact, my own vet assumed from the general health of my ancient Rhonda, that she was eating Science Diet. The problem I have with most dry cat foods is that they are mostly either meal of some sort, or chicken by-product, with a little bit of real chicken thrown in waaaay down the ingredient list. This afternoon, I HAD to stop, because the dish was very nearly empty, and I knew there would be hell to pay if I came home without food! So I stopped at the WW that I usually shop in, and usually find the food. NADA. ZIP. ZILCH. No food for my kitties. Not even a tag on the shelf showing where they keep it, but are out of stock. Yep, it seems that they are not carrying it anymore. SHIT! So then I have to spend a half hour reading EVERY package of cat food to see if there’s the slightest chance that any of them will meet the Chicken as the first ingredient. I found 2 options. Newman’s Own, and something new by Iams. Iams was marginally less expensive, so my decision was made that way. Hopefully it won’t give them any crazy upset tummies having an abrupt change in food! We’ll see how they do… That’s probably enough rambling for tonite. I’m gonna head for bed to listen to the freezing rain fall and hope that the power doesn’t go out this time like it did a few weeks ago when we last had some ice!

Shameless plug

For my friend's kitty, who has been entered in Bissell's Most Valuable Pet contest. Vote by Feb 3rd for Sir Vivor, who was a stray that showed up at her house, scrawny and not looking well at all, but look at him now!

Saturday, January 24, 2009


It’s been a tough couple of days. Yesterday, I noticed a handmade barrette and a hairbrush missing from where I’d put them. I followed my instincts and went into my “roommate”s room. I found the barrette in her top dresser drawer. I guess roommate is the wrong term. Roommate would indicate one who shares in the expenses, wouldn’t it? Yeah, she’s not done that. Since she arrived in August, she’s bought perhaps $200 worth of groceries, mostly either bread, Dr Pepper, green tea, cereal, and the soy milk she likes. Not one penny toward the rent, the (almost doubled) utilities, or anything else to maintain the household. She still owes me a little over a hundred bucks on stuff I paid for that she specifically said she would pay back. She still owes a friend of mine $50 from TRF in October. This afternoon, when I got home, I got to wondering about some other things I hadn’t seen in awhile, and went in there again. This time I found 2 pairs of distinctive earrings, a distinctive pendant, a whole bunch of change, and a few other random pieces of costume jewelry, in the place where I had found the barrette yesterday. In another drawer I found another distinctive hair accessory. Now, I’m not the most organized person in the world, and frankly, I have so much stuff that never got unpacked completely, that I couldn’t begin to tell you where these things were prior to her appropriating them, however just because I wasn’t using them, and hadn’t for sometime, does not mean that she has a right to steal them. This is not the first time I’ve been stolen from. Back in ’91, my apartment in Dallas was broken into. Nothing was ever recovered. I thought I felt violated then. Yeah, that was NOTHING compared to the violation I feel this time. I suspect that it has to do with the fact that not just my space was violated this time, but also my trust in someone I considered a friend. Someone I did everything in my power to help. Someone I was naïve enough to believe when they told me their hard luck story. This week I will work on recovering my stuff that she’s hidden away amongst her things, and documenting photographically what I find, before I secure it safely away from her sticky fingers. I will also be talking with the local PD about the best way to get her out, with only her things, without a scene or retaliation. Her job requires her to have a firearm, and my friend who lives in Oregon has told me he wants me to have someone here with me when I tell her to get out. I honestly don’t think she’ll try anything, because 1. She knows she’s wrong, and 2. If I have to call the police on her, it may cost her job, as it requires her to be bondable, and with an arrest on her record, she’s no longer bondable. I don’t want to get her fired, I just want her out of my house. Once she’s gone, perhaps I can really get on track with the changes that I’ve been working on in my life.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


It has occurred to me that I might owe my niece-in-law a bit of a warning. It’s possible that her husband might pass on some of the teasing he endured as a child. If he does, and the child turns out kinda warped, well, it’s probably largely my fault. I am, after all, EVIL. Last spring, I was at Scarborough, before cannon, talking and giggling with one of my friends. One of the cast members came over and made a crack about my laugh being evil. S & I looked at him, and I said “who, me?” I, of course, gave him my best “why, I can’t imagine why you would think such a thing” look, which was promptly lost when I laughed my usual laugh, which does sort of come out as a cackle. His face lit up and he said “Yes, that’s the one!” We talked with him for a few more minutes before he wandered off to see who else he might find. That, however, was NOT the end of our encounter that morning. Every few minutes, he would come back and talk some more. The last time he came over, he said to me “That’s it, I am ALWAYS drawn to the most evil in any location, and I keep being drawn over here, therefore, YOU are the Center of All Evil.” I accepted the title with more than a little glee! I’m pretty sure that my nephew would tell you that my evilness goes back at least 15 years. Now, I have always been the one who would tell him just about anything, mostly because he would believe it. God bless him, it took him awhile to not be quite so naïve. Eventually, he figured out that my sister, his mother, generally didn’t give me up, but that his grandmother, my mom, usually would. Something about her telling him at one point “I will never lie to you”. For what I think was his 12th birthday, I got him a gift card to somewhere, I don’t remember the shop, but it was a shop I knew he liked. I took that gift card and put it in the bottom of a box, probably 6x6x6. I filled the box with rocks from the yard. I am not talking about pebbles or pea gravel, I’m talking about random rocks. I should insert here that Mom knew that there was a gift card in there somewhere, but all she saw me doing was filling the box with rocks. Once it was full enough to not let the card get exposed too early, but still empty enough to rattle loudly when shaken, I closed it and wrapped it. We got to my sister’s house, and time came to open packages. The box got picked up and shaken. Nephew: What is it? Me: A box of rocks. Nephew: Nuh uh Me: Yep Nephew (to his mother): Really, Mom, what is it? My sister: She told me it was a box of rocks Nephew (to my mom): Melissa, what is in it? Mom: All I saw her put in it was a bunch of rocks. He’s beginning to look a bit concerned, simply because he knows that while Aunt R and his mom might try to pull one over on him, he’s POSITIVE that his grandmother would never do so, thus the box MUST contain rocks. AND there were NO MORE PACKAGES that could possibly contain a real gift from Aunt R. He still had this utterly incredulous look on his face when he opened the box and there were indeed rocks in it. As he started pulling rocks out, Mom piped up and told him that I’d stolen them from her yard, and she wanted them back. He eventually got to the bottom of the box and found the gift card, which of course lit his face up. I’m still not sure if it was joy or relief. He did put all the rocks back in the box and hand them over to Mom and they were returned to the yard. Yeah, I’ve been evil for a long time! Yeah, I probably should give my niece-in-law some sort of warning. Or not.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A New Dawning

It’s a momentous day in the United States. I’m not sure that it’s the one that I will never forget, since there are things like the Challenger explosion, 9-11, and the Columbia explosion that are burned into my memory, however it is certainly to be included on the list of the most memorable days of my life. I am a child of Texas. I am a military brat. I have no memory of being particularly aware of skin color when I was young. I can remember my younger brother describing other kids as that light brown, or dark brown, boy or girl. Honestly, I don’t remember who they were, nor do I have any idea of their ethnicity, other than they were probably darker skinned than we were. I was 3 when we moved overseas, to Athens, Greece. We went to school at Ursuline Academy, the only American school in our area. As we were all military or diplomatic children, we were an eclectic mix, as best I recall. When I was almost 8, we moved back to the States, to a major Army base in the Midwest. We all went to school together, on the base, again, an eclectic mix. When we left the military a couple of years later, we returned to Texas. Our home was in a relatively average, middle class neighborhood in a suburb of Dallas. By the time that I graduated from high school, I had attended 4 elementary schools, middle school, and 3 high schools in 4 cities. That’s a LOT of kids that I encountered. If you went down a list of names from all of those schools, aside from names that are clearly ethnic, whether first or surnames, I could probably identify as definitely black or African-American, ummm 5 people. I didn’t grow up seeing skin color as a means of identification. As a 5th generation Texan, it might be presumed that I might have been taught differently. Racial differences were truly irrelevant in our house. Racial slurs or jokes were not tolerated. Nonetheless, I was truly not sure that a minority of my generation would become president. I never doubted that I would see a minority President in my lifetime, I simply didn’t dream that it would be a man (or woman) of my generation. It makes me wonder what my mother and grandmother would have thought. I have no doubt that they would have been proud of the selection, whether they particularly agreed with it. We have an incredible opportunity to see a new dawning in America. We are now led by a common man, who has achieved uncommon things. I believe he is in a unique position to truly understand and empathize with a much broader cross-section of the US population than most of his predecessors, certainly most of those in my memory. He has gotten to where he is through hard work and honesty, rather than through the accident of birth into a wealthy, politically active family. I think, perhaps, I identify more strongly with him than I would have identified with a woman in the same position. Throughout the election process, I have been pretty quiet about which direction I was leaning, largely because I abhor conflict and just didn’t want to engage in arguments about who is right and who is wrong. This is America, we each are allowed to have an opinion, and express it, without fear of retribution. I have my opinion, which may or may not agree with yours, and I may not like yours, but I will respect it. All I ask is that you respect mine. You don’t have to like President Obama, but you do owe him the respect that is due our legally elected and sworn leader. I, for one, am looking forward to the coming weeks and months. I have no idea how well he will adhere to campaign promises or how closely he will follow the ideals he set forth in an eloquent and inspiring inaugural address. I hope that he will be able to follow through as much as possible, and I believe that he will do so to the best of his abilities. I pray that he will receive the guidance he needs to be successful, and to unify our amazing country, and work toward the most beneficial resolution to the conflicts that he has inherited with his inauguration, and move us forward into this new era of responsibility.


This is a bit of a rant about my temp roomie's new doctor. My comments are in purple For several weeks now, she's been having some pain and swelling in one of her small toes, and yesterday had an appointment with a doctor to see about that and to try to get a new script for the 3 allergy meds she's been unable to get since the script ran out several months ago. The doctor told her that: 1. the toe is probably a muscular/tendon thing that's relatively common in people who have worn poorly fitting shoes for any period of time (she did as a child), and the only cure is to have surgery, and take ibuprofen or tylenol for pain. I think a podiatrist is probably better able to accurately diagnose a foot/toe thing, I also think that telling her to not wear shoes if she can avoid it, but not offering any real relief from the problem is a crock of shit 2. her sinus problems/headaches (which respond to meds like Claritin-D and Advil Cold & sinus) are allergies, but rather migraines and gave her a prescription for Matax, which the pharmacy dispensed 4 instead of the 10 that the doctor prescribed, probably due to limitations on her plan, hell, my plan would only allow me 9 a month, and I'm not sure I could get them all at once. umm, yeah, responds to sinus medications, history of severe allergies that require not 1 but 3 medications to control, sound like a migraine to me! 3. she has all the symptoms of her hypoglycemia turning into diabetes, so in a couple of weeks, on a Saturday morning, she has a fasting bloodtest scheduled.I lived with a diabetic mother from the onset of her diabetes until her death, she is NOT exhibiting symptoms of high blood sugar. I told her that she has symptoms of depression, fibromyalgia, and possibly a sleep disorder, all of which I do or have lived with for about 10 years. Her response was "the doctor said yes, I have those, AND those are all signs of diabetes." WTF????? I think tonite I'm going to get her to let me check the trigger points for fibro and see what happens.

Monday, January 19, 2009


OK folks, I'm hosting a house concert for my friend Marc, formerly of the Brobdingnagian Bards. He's recently moved to New Orleans, and is beginning to travel nationwide solo. He's got a gig in Dallas at the Tipperary Inn on the 5th of February, and of course I jumped at the opportunity to have another show at my house that weekend. And I SWEAR it's not for purely selfish reasons because I miss seeing him live. I will have snacks/hors d'oeuvres and non-alcoholic beverages, as well as birthday cake as it's just a few days before my friend Lissa's birthday. Saturday, February 7, 2008 @ 7PM Watauga, TX Suggested donation $15. BYOB. RSVP to Marc Gunn is Celtic American Musician and Podcaster. Good food, good drink and good company. Folk ballads, Irish drinking songs, fantasy, Sci Fi, and cats on the autoharp (I wish they'd get it off it already). Embrace independent Celtic music!

Thursday, January 15, 2009


I really need to learn to have more down time! And when I say down time, I mean time when I’ve turned off the tv, and frankly, probably the laptop, which, incidentally has recently been named Wendell. Don’t ask me why his name is Wendell, it just is. One of those things, I guess. I suppose it would probably be fine to have Wendell on, for things like journaling, but I need to really focus on not hiding behind the forums, myspace, facebook, and other random sites that seem to fascinate me and monopolize my time and energy. . I’ve been conditioned to ALWAYS have noise. When I was a kid, I always had the radio on or the tv going while I did my homework. I simply can’t concentrate when it’s quiet. Of course, I was a fairly unremarkable student, which might not have been the case, had I been a little better able to focus on my studies. I can’t sleep when it’s quiet. I have the tv on for awhile until the timer turns it off, and the Ipod is already running though I can’t hear it over the tv. I have list after list of things that I need to get done, yet I allow myself to get sucked into the internet, or a video game, or the tv, probably largely as a means of avoiding what really needs to be done. That being said, my goal for the next couple of weeks until my House Concert on February 5th, is to get what is supposed to be a study/sewing room/garb closet but is currently piled, literally, with junk, cleared out and organized. Tomorrow, when I get home from work, I am going to start pulling stuff out and stacking it in the living room so it can be sorted into categories: 1. Keep and display or have where I can use it easily 2. Keep and store in a proper and organized manner 3. Keep and photograph to post on Craig’s List or Ebay 4. Donate to Mission Arlington because while I don’t need or want it, it’s still usable, but not worth the trouble of Ebay or Craig’s List 5. TRASH I don’t get enough sleep most nights, and I am not entirely sure that part of the problem is not all the clutter and junk in my house. I need to clear the clutter and perhaps my brain will be a little clearer, so I can focus on things that I want to work on. It’s time for Wendell to go to sleep, and me too, actually, so I’m off to watch a little more Cosby til I fall asleep with the cats.

Monday, January 12, 2009


Several months ago, I had to make a really hard decision to eliminate someone who had once been a close friend from my world. I just couldn’t bear to watch her continue to make choices that I believed then, and actually, still do believe, would lead to her demise. We’d been friends for, oh, somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 years by that time. We’d been through multiple major events, including an accident that could have claimed her life or left her paralyzed or crippled, and several years later, the deaths of our mothers within a year of each other. The last time I actually spoke to her was in October of 2007, and at that time I learned that she’d lied to me, and possibly to the courts. She was, I suspect, intoxicated at the time of our conversation. I knew then that I would have to put some distance between us, because despite the warnings that I am certain were sent by whatever higher power anyone chooses to believe in, she continued to engage in self destructive behaviors, as well as maintain a relationship with a passive-aggressive jerk. I reached a point that I was just plain tired of watching people I love die. Periodically, I would get some silly email forward from her, but rarely did I get anything substantial from her, until June of 2008, when she emailed to say she was going to marry the jerk. I couldn’t even answer that email, because I’d told her until I was tired of repeating myself that I don’t like him, I don’t want to be around him, and I believe that they are bad for each other. And how do you tell someone you once considered one of your best friends that, well, you want her to be happy but you won’t be celebrating the marriage. At some point after that, she lost her job. I don’t know the story there, other than the company didn’t want her to leave when she moved to Austin, and was eager to hire her back when she moved back from Austin. In the ensuing months, I grieved over the loss of the friendship, and I grieved for the fact that I might never know what happened to her. It broke my heart, and it still pains me, though I know that I’m not the person that she knew the last time we saw each other (September ’07). I am stronger, more self assured, and in general, in a better place. Imagine my surprise this afternoon when I opened my email and found a message from her. It was a bit of a nutshell sort of thing, with no real answers or explanations. Sure, it started with “sorry I couldn’t get in touch with you sooner.” And ended with “if you life isn’t too hectic I’d love to hear from you.” In between there was also an “I wish I could talk to you” in the middle somewhere. I’m torn, between shooting her an email telling her exactly what I think about the way she treated me, ignoring her, and coming up with something in between. I will probably wind up emailing her, but telling her that there is just too much water under the bridge to pick up where we left off. I just don’t trust her anymore. I’d like to have my friend back, but not if it’s the friend that got lost. The one I want back is the one that I had, oh, 7 years or so back, not the one that came back to FW from Austin. *sigh* I just can’t make those sorts of decisions quickly. My health and well-being are paramount to me, and emotionally, that has meant not having her in my world for awhile. I don’t know if I’m quite ready to have her back in it. I’m going to sleep on it for a few days and maybe make a decision over the weekend.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

1/5/09 Well, today was my first day back to work after the 3 weeks I had off between the holidays and recuperating from my surgery. I was up the first time the alarm went off, and was out the door by 5:45 in an effort to get to the office before the icy rain started. I made it by 6:15, and lasted until about 1:45 or so, which got me about 7 hours in before I had to come home and lie down on the couch. Dinner smelled fabulous. I did a chicken & rice thing in the crock pot with brown rice, 2 cans of cream of chicken soup, and some boneless, skinless chicken breasts. For seasoning I used some wild garlic dip mix. This was one of my learning recipes, I guess. Too much soup, rice was too mushy, not enough seasoning. Yeah, the chicken itself is pretty tasty, but the other stuff is just bleah mushy gross! So I’ll take the chicken out and shred it for chicken salad and toss the other stuff, having learned a lesson. I would have done all of that tonite, before I started getting everything together to throw into the big crock tomorrow for my soup, however, at about 8:15, our power went out. Yeah, it’s 9:30 now, and it’s still out. The whole block on our side of the street, plus the opposite side of the street behind us, except for a couple of houses on the next block in a cul-de-sac on our side of the street is out. Plus on the street behind us, there’s another little cul-de-sac that has like 4 houses with nothing, then 1 with full lights as far as we can see (porch light, etc.), then 2 houses with nothing, then another 1 with full lights, and all the rest are out on that whole street. It’s bizarre. The opposite side of my street is fine. I’m near a corner, and the other side of the cross street is fine. I went for a drive through the neighborhood to see how far the outage ranges, but didn’t find any power trucks doing anything for us. Yeah, it was like 34 degrees when the power went out. We had some rain today, but the power lines in my neighborhood don’t look terribly icy, nor do the trees, but perhaps the trees nearest the main transformer that our grid is on had a problem. Since I use a provider other than TXU because I have a better deal, well, I’m SOL on trying to find out what the status is because TXU won’t talk to me. So my house is currently about 65 degrees and dropping. I sleep better when it’s cold, but not when I’m shivering! Too many covers drive me crazy, but I’ve got my usual winter set of sheets, 1 blanket and my quilt, plus a flannel- backed lap quilt, plus 2 more lap quilts piled on top of me. Hopefully the power will come back on soon and I can actually sleep through the night. Ok, the power came on around 1 a.m. and while I'd slept some up to that point, it wasn't restful, and since my alarm goes off at 5, I got about half the rest I actually need to be able to function. *sigh* AND when I got online this morning to check mail, there's a 'past due' notice in my email about my electric bill, WTF??? So I went to the website and what do you know, they show I have a $0.00 balance. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is a big fat ZERO balance, because, well, I paid the bill on 12/17/08, and it was applied that day, a full 5 days before it was due. I dunno what they are thinking, other than they are clearly nuts.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I love my crock pot

So, part of my plan for this year is to eat better, which means eating at home, and not eating pre-packaged junk. To that end, I went the other day to Central Market with my shopping list. side notes: 1. I do NOT eat fish, shrimp, or other water dwelling creatures. AT ALL. I don’t particularly like the taste, and it doesn’t particularly like me, so we came to an agreement that I won’t eat them and they won’t do nasty stinky things to me. It’s a plan I can live with. 2. There are several common veggies that I just can’t stand, sometimes it is a texture thing, sometimes it is a flavor thing, sometimes both. That list includes: eggplant, raw tomatoes, broccoli, onions, most squashes, avocados, pumpkin, Brussels sprouts, canned green beans, beets, cucumbers, most peppers, artichokes, asparagus, mushrooms, shallots, and leeks. 3. There are some veggie rules that I have: I cook with purple onion, finely chopped. I eat grilled zucchini sometimes. I cook with red bell peppers. Cucumbers-bleah, dill or sweet pickles-yummy! Raw cauliflower-yummy, cooked-bleah. Mushy carrots SUCK. 4. I don’t do asian food, though I do stir-fry stuff on occasion, but not with asian spices 5. I’m not big on pork particularly, other than bacon. 6. I LOVE beef, unfortunately, it’s reached a point that beef really dislikes me most of the time these days, unless it’s VERY high grade (and therefore high-dollar). Thursday was my shopping day and by the time I finished all my errands, I just wasn’t in the mood to cook anything, so I wound up skipping dinner. Friday I made a couple of individual meatloaves, using ground bison. I’ve done it before, and it was fabulous. This time around, I messed up and used tomato paste instead of sauce, and the result was VERY acidic. Fortunately, I’d only cooked one of them, the other is in the freezer, and I’ve gotten information on how to correct the acidity once I thaw the other one to cook it. Paired with ½ a small baked potato, and a salad, I was pretty happy with the meal I had that night. Saturday, I woke up early and put some beans in the crock pot. Unfortunately, having not cooked with it nearly enough, I didn’t know that I needed to either use fresh spices and herbs, or use extra of the dried/crushed ones. I seriously needed to doctor the beans to have them taste decent. The cornbread, on the other hand, despite being from a package that only required me to add an egg and milk, was outstanding. Added a salad again, and had me a nice, balanced, fresh meal. This morning, I got out the bison roast I’d gotten at Central Market, sliced some garlic and put in it, then plopped it into the crock pot with some low-fat-sodium beef broth, some fresh thyme, rosemary, oregano, bay leaves, Italian parsley, garlic, some potatoes, and some purple onion, and cooked it all day long. The only problem I had was that I put the carrots in too soon, because they were MUSHY and gross by the time I was ready to eat! The roast, on the other hand, was absolutely FABULOUS! Tender, tasty, ahh! And of course, with a salad, I had another healthy, tasty meal. Now I’m off to bed, back to work tomorrow, after 3 weeks off to recouperate from my hysterectomy. Wish me luck! Hopefully I’ll be up on time, to work on time (which to my boss means 7, though I’m usually there by 6 or 6:30), and make it through the whole day!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Ok, I’d like to keep my posts this year a little more upbeat and positive, but this one is just going to make me crazy, so it’s gonna have to come out. Awhile back, someone I thought knew me pretty well encouraged me to take a path that, in all honesty, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to even consider. I had all sorts of arguments against the path, but my friend, X was persistent, and actually, the path sort of came to me, relatively independently. Pretty quickly, I revised my thoughts about it, and it has brought me a great deal of joy, and frankly, taught me some things about myself. Overall, I think it’s a good path for me, despite some bumps along the way. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, X has decided that it’s not a good path for me and that I need to just give it up and find another one. I realize that X, like the rest of my friends, wants what is best for me, however, considering that X has spent virtually no time with me in person along this path. Sure we talk on the phone, but unlike this time last year (well before my current path was part of my world) when we spent time together every single week, without fail, in the last, oh, 6 months or so, we’ve seen each other less than 10 times in total. Now, before anyone gets in a twist about the reasons things have changed or about jealousy or whatever, my frustration has nothing to do with hisher path, because while it works for himher, I know that it couldn’t work for me, and that’s fine. I am pretty sure that X believes my situation to be the same as a situation that s/he was in a year or so ago, but what s/he doesn’t get is that, well, it is NOT the same. Sure there are some similarities, but in other ways it’s very different. Sure s/he has heard a good bit of frustration and tears along those bumps, but s/he seems not to remember the joyful times. I have reached a point that I feel I can’t even talk about something that I believe has had a hugely positive impact on my life with one of my closest friends, because s/he is going to tell me, yet again “I just don’t think this is the right path for you, maybe you need to give it up and look for another path.” I don’t freakin’ WANT to look for another path. Hell, I wasn’t even really looking when this one found me. I mean, sure we all sort of watch all the time, but there’s a difference between actively looking, and just going on your merry way without worrying about it. I had reached a place in my life that I was in a good place, not a perfect one, by any means, but a good one, and I was generally happier than I had been, probably in most of my life. Out of the blue, seemingly randomly, the path opened up to me. Again, not perfect, but good, and good for and to me. It’s not an easy path, particularly, but it’s been good all the way around, I think. It is frustrating that someone who calls him/herself my friend would be a little more supportive of what s/he started in the first place. Ok, that’s the end of my rant for today.

2008/09 survey

What did you do in 2008 that you’ve never done before? Umm, went to Pennsylvania and Maryland Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t make resolutions Did anyone close to you give birth? My friends Emilee & Mark had baby Claire Did anyone close to you die? Yep, my great-aunt Eth, she was 98 What countries did you visit? Pennsyltucky, thought it was more of a drive thru, not a visit, and Mexico. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Better health, and I think I’m already on that path since I evicted my uterus in December What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Too many to name, though December 16th is pretty significant, what with the uterine eviction and all What’s your biggest achievement of the year? My first public bellydance performance in August at Ya Halla Ya’ll with my class What was your biggest failure? Not being able to keep up my fitness goals because my health was such a mess Did you suffer illness or injury? Yep, kidney stones, PMS from HELL, multiple sinus infections, and allergies from hell What’s the best thing you bought? Prolly my pretty new red Ipod Whose behavior merited celebration? I have no idea Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Several people/entities, but nobody particularly close to me Where did most of your money go? Bills and FAIRE What did you get really, really excited about? Being asked by friends to represent them as a seller at faire, which resulted in some better friendships, and some new ones. What song will always remind you of 2008? Since I always listen to my Ipod, I have no idea. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? MUCH Happier. Richer or poorer? Emotionally/spiritually richer, monetarily about the same. Thinner or fatter? My weight has stayed fairly steady, but I’ve had to buy smaller clothes. What do you wish you’d done more of? Take more down time. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being bitchy, negative and whiney How did you spend Christmas? At home, in the quiet, but the next day I was at my sister’s with family Did you fall in love in 2008? Yeah, I kinda did. What was your favorite TV program? Extreme Makeover Home Edition Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Nope, I learned a few years ago that hate is wasted energy. Instead, I try to forgive and move on, and just be careful who I’m close to What did you want and get? Traveling to new places What did you want and not get? Hmm, I think I did pretty well getting what I want, or at least getting on the path toward it What was your favorite film of this year? I can’t even remember what movies I saw, how sad is that?? What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was at faire in MD with some wonderful friends, although by the time I was headed up there, I had a hard time leaving those I would have spent time with here. I was 40, but now I’m 41 What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying I have no idea How would you describe your personal fashion concept for 2008? Basic Wench What kept you sane? My friends, when they weren’t making me insane What celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Didn’t really fancy anybody famous What political issue stirred you the most? Presidential campaigning in general, I HATE election year. Who did you miss? Mom. Who was the best new person you met? I met lots of awesome new people, top o the list is prolly Tom, MFS &FB Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008 Patience really can pay off.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Waving out last year, welcoming the new one

2008 was a banner year for me. I learned that sometimes, hard as it is, I have to stand up for myself and put ME first. I learned that as much as it hurts, sometimes a friendship has run its course, and ends, and that’s ok. I learned that as much as I want to, not only can I not save someone, I can’t make them want to save themselves either, and that’s ok I learned that sometimes the best way to be a friend is to say no. I discovered that I have more inner strength than I thought I did I discovered that the age of the friendship has little or nothing to do with the depth of the friendship. I discovered that while patience has never been one of my virtues, it is something I can learn. My world changed a lot in 2008, mostly through people who came in and/or out of it. Some was bad, some was good. Since I’m focusing on positives instead of negatives, we aren’t going into the bad, because, well, it happened, it can’t be changed, and I’ve put it behind me. Early in the year, I decided that I was going to just relax and enjoy the ride that is my life. As a result of that decision, I believe, several wonderful people either came into my life, or became a bigger part of my life. Each of them has made a wonderful, positive impact on me, and I am truly grateful for their presence. In the coming year, I am planning to continue on the path that I’m carving. My doctor tells me that my activities have to be limited until February 1st, when hopefully, my only unhealed incision will be healed. At that point, I can rejoin my bellydance classes and head back to the gym a couple of days each week. Since the surgery, aside from being sore and more easily tired, I honestly feel better than I have felt in years! Who knew that the removal of my uterus would be quite so life-changing. I mean, everyone I know who had already had one told me that I would feel better and never regret it, but WOW is all I can say about the change. I will admit that I’ve been moody, cranky, and downright bitchy, probably for YEARS longer than I was really conscious of, simply because, well, I didn’t know that the way I was feeling during my period and the days leading up to it was abnormal. It WAS normal to me, so I just tolerated it, and God bless all of you who just loved me through it! Now, I have no doubt that there is still some adjustment to happen, but I am confident that it will be fine. I am in a good place, and I hope you are in a good place as well. Have a blessed and successful year ya’ll!