Sunday, January 30, 2011


On this night, 8 years ago, I didn't get much sleep. My house was full of guests… my Bestie, our #1 boy, and Bestie's honey had come in from points west. The boy and the honey had already gone to bed. Bestie & me, yeah, notsomuch. We were fretting over the next day's schedule. We would be leaving the house in Arlington at some ungodly hour in the morning to drive to UT Southwest Medical Center, where we would spend much of our day. If all went well with the surgery, in a few weeks, the kiddo who had never heard much of anything with any real clarity, and had, gradually, lost more and more hearing, even with the best available hearing aids, would be able to hear better than he ever had before. I've had neurosurgery. I survived. I'm normal not THAT weird (and really, my weirdness has more to do with my hobbies & interests than it does my brain damage). I think what terrified Bestie the most was the fact that if, for some reason, there was more damage than anticipated to his right ear, once that hole was poked, there's no going back, hearing aids would never work again, and our boy would forever be in a silent world. He was having Cochlear Implant surgery. There was a great deal of drama in the waiting room, because of the mix of people present: Mom, Aunt, Grandpa, Dad, OtherMother (me), and Mom's honey. I honestly don't remember how long we were in the waiting room, but I realize that it was probably not as long as it seemed to be. After surgery, and awhile in the recovery room, we were allowed to take him home. We got back to Arlington, had a bit of dinner, and settled down for the evening. The only tv in the house with closed captioning had been arranged in front of the couch where our boy was sleeping & he was watching whatever movies struck his fancy. Bestie went in to check on him, and I could hear her talking to him… we'd done sign & speech pretty much since his deafness was diagnosed at 2.5 yrs old, and him talking back. It was a bit hard to understand him, since his speech had always been a bit more muddled when he couldn't hear himself, but I listened carefully to see what he had to say. Bestie was awful fretful about the success of the surgery and the possibility of eternal silence. Our boy looked at her and said "Mom, it's OK. When I was a little kid (says the 11 year old), God told me he made me deaf for a reason, and that someday, something would happen and I wouldn't be deaf anymore, so I know it will be fine." Well, obviously both of his mother's bawled like big ole babies over that little revelation! At any rate, January 31, 2003 was the beginning of an amazing miracle. I didn't sleep that Thursday night 8 years ago, but tonight I'll sleep knowing that tomorrow's a day for celebration.

Sunday, January 2, 2011


I have never been one to make resolutions, in no small part because I have a terrible case of A.D. Oooh, SHINEY, and I sometimes have trouble following through on goals I set for myself when they have no bearing on anyone except myself. Yep, I know that the only person who suffers for this is me. That being said, I recognize that the time has come for me to stop punishing myself, and actually follow through on some of my goals. I am setting small ones, that I am fairly certain I can achieve and turn into good habits, which will ultimately benefit my physical health, as well as my spiritual & emotional well-being.
  1. Take my vitamins. Daily. – Getting them out of the closet, where I will see them every day will help with this task
  2. Eat better, more balanced meals. – I've started this already, having a protein shake for breakfast this morning, and a healthy dinner (let's not talk about my lunch today at a local fast food restaurant) I am trying to keep track of my progress over on my weight loss blog, but no guarantees on that yet.
  3. Get proper sleep, EVERY night. A few days ago, I made sure when I was in Arlington, to get by Deep Woods Apothecary, where I picked up, among other things, some of their Serenitea. Night before last it wasn't a fabulous solution to my sleep issues, but Li'lcat was utterly insistent on being in my face, waking me up. Last night, however, I slept like a dream.
  4. Spend 10 minutes a day of quiet time… no music, no computer, no cats, no driving, no other distractions.
  5. Spend 30 minutes a day reading a book. I used to LOVE to read, and did so voraciously. I'm not sure what happened to that in the last few years. I am definitely a bibliophile, my book collection is outrageous, especially considering the space I have to devote to it at this time, and I am not going to purchase any new books until I finish reading the ones I've already got collecting dust. For me, this is going to mean turning off the television
  6. Move more. I'm doing a little research to try and find a nearby yoga or bellydance studio. As much as I wish I could go back to Isis, I just can't justify the 90 minute drive, even once a week.
2010 was a rough year all the way 'round. The saying that what you are doing at the beginning of the year will set the tone for what you will do throughout the year seems to have been only partially true, as I was unemployed, but only spent about ½ the year in that state. I learned a great deal about myself over the course of that year, good things and some not so good things, but in the end, I have a clearer vision of what really matters to me, and what I'm willing to do to accomplish those things. I am blessed in more ways than I can count, with blood kin as well as my chosen family of friends. We don't always get along or see things the same way, but we can agree to disagree and enjoy more those things on which we can agree. 

2011 promises to be a new adventure, a path unseen, yet somehow familiar & comfortable, with God & family (birth & chosen) along the way to share the joys and the sorrows as they present themselves.