Saturday, October 11, 2014

Starting Anew

Wow, over a year! So much has happened that I can’t even begin to completely re-hash, and frankly, most of it doesn’t even merit rehashing at this point. The short version is that I’ve celebrated both a work anniversary and another birthday, I’ve found some amazing peace, and I’m generally successful in not letting negativity rule my life. I work with a great group of folks, most of whom I enjoy immensely, and who respect and accept me for who I am.
I’ve managed to successfully let go of some anger that has been simmering, admittedly, largely because those with whom I was angry have gotten fabulous bitch-slaps courtesy of Karma.  This is awesome because I’m reasonably likely to run into at least one of them at some point, and I no longer feel the need to introduce my fist to their teeth, which will, at least, avoid an assault charge.
My blood pressure is back down to normal, without medication, and, aside from an occasional flare, the fibro is well controlled.  Weight is still largely the same, mostly because I make lazy, less-than-ideal food choices more times a week than I should.
I’ve had an actual vacation for the first time in too damned long, and I’ve used up all but about 3 of my 10 vacation days for the year, which is fine, because I get 10 more starting in January. On the schedule for next summer is a trip to Quebec, if everything can get sorted out properly.
The drawback I’ve found to my decision to find positivity in every day, and minimize negativity, is that I get frustrated by people who have not made such choices, and always have something negative to say, are whiney, and just plain annoying. I’ve had to adjust my facebook settings so that they don’t show up in my feed and drive me crazy! I’m fully aware of the fact that it hasn’t been that long since I had long stretches of pity party, and I try to be patient, but it does wear on my nerves.
Overall, I’d have to say that I’m happier and more content with myself and my life than I’ve ever been. I have stopped competing with anyone, including my younger self. I conform to anyone else’s standards only so far as is necessary to meet the company dress code (jeans and a company shirt).  I wasted too many years trying to conform to someone else’s standard, which made me self-conscious and led to always questioning how I looked.  I’m truly comfortable in my own skin, finally. There have long been people in my life that I love unconditionally, but until the past few months, I was not one of those people.
My most awesome happy thought for today is that as of a few  days ago, some of my dearest friends have finally managed to close a terrible chapter in their lives, which will enable them to move forward and leave the past behind them.