Thursday, November 20, 2008
I try to be a good friend. I try to help people in need, especially my friends. It's sort of an inborn thing, I think a combination of being 1. a big sister, 2. a Libra, 3. a middle child. I've been taking care of people in one way or another since I was about 4 years old. I try not to let myself be taken advantage of, but on occasion, well, it happens. Several months ago, I loaned a friend money to repair her car as she was on her way back to Texas, with the understanding that once she was here, and working, she would repay the money I loaned her. She's received paychecks for 13 weeks now, tomorrow will be her 14th check. Despite the fact that she has not been asked, nor has she offered to contribute to the rent or utilities, and even though she has had about $700 or so in car expenses in order to keep it running and get her title and tags transferred back to TX, she has NO savings, nor has she paid much of the car repair, not to mention the fact that as a favor, (I know, I'm already doing too many favors for her) I added her to my car insurance, for which she also agreed to pay. So this evening, I wrote her a letter, because I'm better at writing than I am talking sometimes, especially something like this. I told her that while I don't expect or want her to give me what she has agreed to pay all at once, but some effort would be appreciated, even $25/paycheck. I also told her that my bigger concern is not the money she owes me, but rather the fact that she seems to have no plan for building savings for emergencies or establishing her own home. I have offered to sit down with her and help her figure out a workable budget that will allow her to live within her means AND put some money away for emergencies. Yeah, well, last night, she came in, went directly to her room, found the letter, and didn't come out except to go to the bathroom. As near as I can tell, she didn't eat dinner and didn't go through her normal 'get everything ready for work tomorrow routine'. She didn't close the door until she turned out her light to go to sleep, but she didn't come talk to me. When I went to the bathroom, I came out and went to her door to see how work was, and she pointed to a note on her dresser stating "I wrote that this morning, before I went to work". The note lists dates for today and the next 3 Fridays, as well as a dollar amount that she's planning to give me to cover what she owes me. It will leave her totally broke for a few weeks, so I'm going to tell her to cut some off of it, partly because I WANT her to be able to build a little savings, and partly because if she gives me that amount for 4 weeks, she will overpay. She pouted most of the evening, and that's fine, but I choose not to see her as the victim here. She has been a victim all of her life, and I want for her to learn that she doesn't HAVE to be one.