Tuesday, December 2, 2008

On a better note

It was a hellish week last week, and I've come to a couple of conclusions. First off, I try to do entirely too much. I don't necessarily overschedule myself, I just tend to forget to schedule myself some downtime on a regular basis. I never really thought about it much before, but in the past few months, I have not had a whole lot of just mindless, quiet time. There are several reasons for this. The biggest, I think, is the presence of another person in my house. When there's a roommate in the picture, and you've lived alone, save for the cats, for 6 years, it takes a little adjustment. I can't just go in my room and close the door, because that locks the cats either in and screaming because they want out, or out and screaming because they need the litterbox. The roommate situation should resolve itself by the end of January, but in the meantime, I need to work out how to achieve my own quiet time with someone else in the house. The second reason I haven't had so much down time is because I've done a good bit of traveling over the last few months, and it seems as though I'm always packing for a trip, or unpacking from a trip, or planning what to pack for the next one. Mostly I've enjoyed my travels, but quite honestly, I am glad that this weekend is the end of my traveling until probably spring at least. Secondly, I am so wired to be a caretaker to the world, that I tend to get swept up in helping other people and doing for them, that I forget to make myself important too. Ultimately, this leads me to begin to feel taken for granted. I suppose that the bottom line is that with a couple of exceptions, I AM a better friend than I HAVE. I need to remember to be a better friend to ME, which may sound selfish, but at some point I wind up having a breakdown and getting hysterical over stupid stuff because I've gone too far for too long for too many people besides me, and get, I don't know, lost, I suppose for lack of a better word. Yep, I reached that breaking point over the weekend. It is not my responsibility to save the world, it is my responsibility to save ME, and THEN do what I can to make the world a better place. I am also beginning to feel a little stress over my upcoming surgery. Two weeks from today, I will be uterus-free. This makes me quite happy, as I have had now a total of 371 menstrual cycles. With the exception of 1 that was only 3 days, and 1 that went on for 2 weeks (yeah that was a nightmare let me tell you), they have all been 5 days long, almost identical to each other. Yep, that's 1862 days of everyone's favorite aunt flo. Add to that anywhere from 5-8 days of PMS each month on top of those actual periods, and that's another 1800-2500 days of hormonal bitchiness, crying, and general BLAH-ness. Yep, I'm done. I'm over it. I've had plenty thanks. In the last couple of years, the PMS has been getting worse, I've cramped more than ever, and I just keep being more and more miserable each month. I've had several people ask me if I am sure about the hysterectomy, because, well, there are other options, such as endometrial ablation, which is a 70% chance of no more period. Umm, yeah, thanks, but since the cost is about the same for both options, I'll take the one that is a 100% chance of no more thankyouverymuch. That doesn't mean that I'm not nervous about the surgery. I mean, the last time that I had surgery was when I was 3 and fractured my skull and required neurosurgery (yep, explains a lot doesn't it?). I have no memory of that incident, so I have no idea what really to expect as far as reactions to medications, etc. Fortunately, it's a laproscopic procedure, so it should just be day surgery and I should be able to sleep with my cats that night. I do have someone lined up to wait at the surgery center for me, and take me home, then stay with me until my roommate comes home from work that night. I think I've got someone coming the next day, and beyond that I've not got worked out yet. I've been told by a couple of people that I'm going to want, and actually probably need someone there at least the first week or so. I guess I better get cracking on that. The bonus to the surgery is that I will have a couple of weeks off from work and hopefully get a little sewing done for faire in the spring.

My last couple of trips have not turned out as I had expected or hoped, but I'm determined that this weekend will be different. I am headed down to Galveston for Dickens on the Strand. Yes, Ike did some major damage, and Dickens won't be the same as in previous years, but the festival is most definitely an indication of the island's desire to rise from the rubble and return to normal. Lots of entertainment and vendors, though smaller than usual, it should be a good time. I'm staying with friends, in their historic home, which was fortunately not as seriously damaged as it could have been by Ike.

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