Saturday, August 1, 2009

August Already?

Where is the year going? It seems as if summer just began, yet we’ve gotten through June and July already. And I’ve only gotten to swim once! WTF??? Oh, yeah, I’ve not been able to afford to open my pool this year L. I went today over to my friend Vicki’s and hung out with her for a couple of hours in the pool, and then awhile longer in the hot tub, until clouds rolled in, and the lightning started in the distance. I’m clearly out of practice with the sunblock, as well, because while I didn’t get burned a lot, there are a few red spots, where I somehow didn’t manage to get the SPF100 applied. OOPS! It was my intention to start my candida detox today, but there was a fiasco last night with my bedspread, which I’d washed yesterday morning and hung across the deck rails to dry, not realizing when I left to go to dinner that there was rain on the way, and so this morning, instead of fixing myself a nice, healthy, minimally processed & raw foods breakfast, I grabbed a Dr Pepper and a package of cheez/pb crackers for my breakfast and that pretty much set the tone for the rest of my eating. I did stop on my way home at Central Market and picked up a kohlrabi, a couple of potatoes, some fresh herbs, snap peas, and a couple of cheese options, as well as some meat for a few days. Tomorrow will be better. Last night’s festivities started with dinner at Angela’s, with Angela, her hubby, and Lissa. Angela made an awesome pasta salad, which converted me totally to being a pasta salad person! I’ve never been much of one, and frankly most of the ones I encounter have stuff in them that I just don’t like cold, if at all, like peas (love them, HOT), onions, lots of tomato. This was very basic, whole grain pasta, some sliced grape tomatoes, chopped fresh spinach, a bit of mozzarella thrown in while it’s all still warm, and tossed in warm, seasoned olive oil. And warm garlic bread to go with it! MMMMHHHMMMMM. And for dessert some kind of Breyers ice cream. It was sort of vanilla with chocolate shavings in it… After dinner we cut Angela’s hair and watched So You Think You Can Dance and an episode of Dr. Who. I think I vaguely remember seeing an episode of the Dr. at some point in my past, but I didn’t appreciate the British humor until I was grown and so I was sort of a Whovirgin. Loved it, but not enough to fork out the additional dough to upgrade to the package that would get me BBCAmerica, so I’ll just have to borrow DVDs. I talked to my BFF today. For all of 20 minutes. And of that 20 minutes, she was involved solely in our conversation for about 2. The rest of the time she was wrestling the toddler, or having a conversation with our #1 Boy, who is now 18, and frankly, capable of managing to realize that the fact that Mom’s got the phone held up to her ear, thus she is ON THE TELEPHONE HAVING A CONVERSATION, and not decide that he MUST have a conversation with her. The last time I actually SPOKE to her was, umm, 3 weeks ago. In the last 10 years, the longest we’ve gone without talking on the phone was a week, and now it’s been 3. It is beginning to piss me off that every time she has been in crisis, she has been able to call me and talk to me about it, and now that my world has all gone to pieces, I can’t get a return call for weeks on end, and when I DO get the call, I don’t rate 5 minutes of undivided attention. I’ve known for a very long time that in most cases, I am a better friend than I have. I truly thought, however that she was the exception to that rule. I mean, over the last several months, I have learned that 2 people that I thought were my friends, were, in fact, using me. I don’t think she’s using, or has used me, and perhaps the fact that I have no children means I don’t have a concept of what she has on her plate, I don’t know. Perhaps I’m being too selfish. Or not. I have always been the strong one that people lean on, and now, when I find I need someone to lean on, the one who has always been there, is not. I realize that I tend not to ask for help, but I don’t like seeming weak or needy, and when I am in that place, I don’t like the person that I become. She is whiney, and bitchy, and frankly unpleasant to be around. Since I don’t like being around people like that, I try not to subject my friends to her. And the quote for the day: There are seeds of self-destruction in all of us that will bear only unhappiness if allowed to grow. Dorothea Brande

1 comment:

Sindy said...

Come spend the day with the Rodenmayers! You know our door is always open to ya.