Saturday, October 23, 2010

OWN IT


OK, it's been a month or so since I last posted, and while there's been some fun stuff in the interim, which I'll write a little more about later, I've mostly been working and getting my system adjusted to the routine of working 5 days a week, and sandwiching some fun in between.
I LOVE my job. Most of the people I work with are great, and the drama seems to stay to a minimum, which is always good. There are new opportunities on the horizon for me, having proven some of my abilities from very early on. Things are still a little up in the air, as policies are established and enacted, and there's been a bit of a power tussle going on, but I'm staying out of it, doing my work, and keeping my nose clean.
I've recently met someone, with whom I have regular contact, who we will call WB (WhineBag). WB is quite possibly the nuttiest individual I have ever met! OCD from HELL, persnickety, morbidly obese, and a religious zealot to boot. The first time I met WB, something happened (I don't remember what) that caused me to think (and say) "oh my God". I heard a prissy little voice say "Please don't take the name of MY Lord in vain!" (OMG garners the same response) *note to self: just don't say things around WB that are not TO WB* WB's OCD tendencies are, as I understand it, minimized by medication… I totally cannot even begin to imagine how bad they would be without it. Her grocery lists are computer documents, arranged in the order of the arrangement of the stores. Don't ask me why I needed to know that all of her clothing matches EVERY DAY, including her undergarments (because her mother made her wear matching undergarments when she was a child), but apparently, she believes that I do need this information. WB has had weight loss surgery, which had to be modified due to an issue with her band (because she had to lift weight above her post-surgery limit several years after her surgery, since her "ex- left all of his shit at the house when he left" and she had to help friends move it), so she has gained back all of the weight she lost. Her arm hurts all the time "because the desk is too high". She has breathing problems, "only at work because there's probably black mold in the walls". She didn't get home one night until 9:30 because when she left work (around 5:30) & went to WalMart, her mom was sitting there waiting on her (and had been since 4:30) to start the grocery shopping.
One of these days I'm going to point out to her that she needs to OWN her issues:
  1. Oh My God is NOT a swear word. Since you are not in my brain, you need to stop assuming what I mean by OMG, which, more often than not is Oh My GOODNESS!
  2. You are nearly 40, and your mother is still dressing you??? Unless that's the case (and THAT is a whole other rant), YOU are the one who is insisting that you match your underwear, and frankly, the rest of the world does not even give a damn!
  3. I have heard the weight loss story 3 times now, and the next time I hear it, I think I'm going to interrupt you and point out that YOU are the one who chose to revert to your old eating habits, instead of continuing the plan you were on with the band filled. Your obesity is on YOU, NOT YOUR EX.
  4. Sure the desk is taller than is ideal for you, however YOU have the power to get a smaller mouse that fits your hand better, and since it's wireless, YOU can choose where you place it, perhaps on your drawer on a daily basis, instead of just once a week when someone gets tired of your whining and tells you to do it.
  5. There may be black mold in the walls, despite NO EVIDENCE, but your breathing troubles are more likely related to YOUR OBESITY… you huff & puff walking 10 feet from your car to the door, therefore your assertion that you breathe fine until you've been in the office for a little while is an invalid argument.
  6. Over 3 hours shopping in Walmart? Seriously? That is RIDICULOUS, ESPECIALLY with your handydandy OCD shopping list arranged to correspond with the layout of the store! YOU allow your mother to take advantage of you if you let her keep you in the store for that long on a work night.
I am not perfect, and God knows that I haven't always owned my mistakes and issues, but you know what, I DO OWN THEM. I made poor choices, especially in the last 2 years or so, which have landed me where I am today.
I blew my inheritance. EVERY PENNY, with the exception of my LASIK & paying off my student loans a couple of years ago. I have NOTHING to show for it. I DID IT. Nobody else. It's all on me. I SUCK at managing my own $. I always have, but I'm working on it, one week at a time.
I got cocky in a job. Oh, not outwardly cocky. Maybe complacent is a better word. It never occurred to me that my performance was a problem, I thought I was keeping up pretty well, but, apparently, such is a problem of 2 different offices, with poor communication. In the end, I've wound up in what is really a better situation, and emotionally a healthier environment for me.
I'm a fat ass. Yeah, technically, I am morbidly obese, but I don't look perpetually pregnant, and I can walk a pretty good distance and a reasonable pace without huffing and puffing. I ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN. Sure, I am of the whole "clean your plate because there are starving children in Africa" generation, but it has been a good many years since I was required by my mother to clean my plate. The bottom line is that there are a LOT of foods that I am just not willing to give up eating in order to change my size. Again, it's all on me.
I am a packrat. I keep EVERYTHING… I learned this habit from my mother, who also kept everything. I KNOW that I don't have to keep everything, and I know that I should figure out how to keep my private space more organized and less cluttered. I'm working on it, though not very hard, because there are other things, generally more fun, that I would rather be doing. Yeah, I could go on and on about how because when we were small, we had a housekeeper who came in several times a week, I didn't have to learn to clean. I could point out the fact that I have been told more than once by one of my great-aunts, "Honey, your mama never learned to clean properly, so she couldn't have taught you." (both of my grandparents taught school while my mother was growing up, and thus afforded a housekeeper to keep the major cleaning done, as well as some of the cooking). The bottom line is that I am more than 40 years old, and I do know how to clean, however I CHOOSE not to do much heavy cleaning, and only the light cleaning that I HAVE to.
Sure, I bitch & complain a bit, but I truly try to not WHINE, and I try not to bitch day in and day out about the same damned thing, OVER AND OVER AND OVER! Nor do I bitch about unchanging things I HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE!
That's the end of my rant for today, time to get a few things done for work…